If you know me you know that I am always, usually in some sort of bikini and tank top. It is just a part of who I am. Many times, I have noticed that people are always stopping me and asking about my scars. Doctors I worked for were always intrigued about them and have always asked to try something “new” with them, but I always declined. The most known scar I have is the ones on my right shoulder. I have been asked while working if I had been shot, by customers before because their daughter’s boyfriend had the same scar from an accident. Needless to say, apparently someone came to the wrong house and shot the girls boyfriend through the door not realizing it was the wrong address. Crazy right! But no, I have never been shot in my shoulder.
My scar ended up being from one of multiple surgeries I had as a kid for cancer. I was young when this happened. Maybe 4 maybe 5. My surgeries started when I was in Kindergarten and First Grade. Then after one surgery came another surgery and that’s how it all began. I spent a good amount of my younger childhood in the hospital, but I will say when I woke up from surgeries a) I would puke my guts out and then b) get to pick out a beanie baby (that is how my whole collection I had started).
Many doctors had told me about laser treatments, steroid shots, tapes, and so many more other options that could flatten my scars. I never really cared about my scars though. I learned to accept them. I have more scars on me than just my shoulder, but most of them are already flat. They are a part of me. Apart of my story.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive charters are seared with scars. The scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.” ~ unknown
Keloids
Then one day I scratched my chest area underneath my neck. I didn’t do anything out of the norm. I just simply scratched an itchy spot like anyone else would. I ended up cutting myself I guess with my nail. Later it formed as a scab, that soon turned into a keloid. It is basically a buildup of extra scar tissues that become bumps on your skin, small or large. I didn’t think about and I let it be for a few years.
Come to find out keloids are genetic. But get this, my mother and father have never gotten keloids before. Just me. I guess I am the odd one. And that’s okay, I guess.
Eventually the keloid on my neck started to bother me. Necklaces would lay on it and make it itch. Necklines from clothing would rub up against it. It was just starting to irritate me. I decided I would finally give in and get rid of this scar once and for all. I decided to go for my chest one, and one I had on my ear where it was pierced. I met a Dr who would inject steroids into the keloid for me. Month after month I would go back for my shots. Month after month my Dr would laugh at me. The shots hurt like a bitch, mainly because lidocaine doesn’t numb me (again I am the odd one). So, I always made faces while he injected me. And in fact, the keloid did indeed slowly disappear. It became flat and I stopped going. However, there is always a clause that *it can come back and may take a few tries until it finally stays flat*. Well my scar came back.
Now I am 21 and I still have the keloid. But I decided to opt out of the shots because my life was just too complicated and busy to go month after month for injections. I also didn’t care for the fact I always felt them as well. Instead I opted for the steroids to be imprinted on a tape for me to stick on everyday until it is at the point of what I wanted to achieve. And it is the best decision I have done was to say yes to these steroids. However, I am going to continue to keep my shoulder keloid. I actually like that one. Sometimes you may just need to get rid of a keloid because you don’t like it and that’s okay, and sometimes you just want to keep a keloid for your own reasons and that’s okay too. Just know you can always say yes to steroids, in different forms, whenever you want. They will always be there for you.
Xx
O.
